Not many people expect that working in a hospice facility will be an enjoyable experience. When Cath Murray tells people what she does for a living, There is often an awkward silence. sympathetic head tilt And the inevitable answer is “That would be very difficult.”
“I have never had a job where I could laugh so much,” said Murray, a hospice nurse and palliative care educator in British Columbia. “The truth is incredible.”
It’s not what most of us think. And that’s the real problem.
Murray founded Life and Death Matters in 2005 to help health care workers who work with dying people. The organization has grown to include resources for nursing students. Long-term care facility employees and their families to help care for those who are dying.
According to Murray There is one major misconception that keeps families from accessing care when they need it most: People think hospice means giving up.
“That’s the biggest myth,” says Murray, “but we’re really good at holding hope and reality together.” Hospice is all about living better. Instead of giving up on it completely
What is hospice care?
Many people think of palliative care and hospice care as the same thing. Palliative care can begin with diagnosis and work with treatment. Symptom management and improve quality of life
Hospice care is reserved for terminally ill people who generally have six months or less to live. Provides comprehensive, comfortable care for both patients and families.
Both types of care are designed to help you live better, not worse.
People typically enter hospice when they have less than six months remaining. (Image via Getty Images)
Murray’s close relationship with the dying allows her to see and learn from people facing and accepting their death.
“I learned from people who really had time to think about what was important in life. It wasn’t about luxury cars or designer brands,” she says. The work taught her something unexpected: a deep gratitude for things. in daily life “I remember leaving work on a rainy day. And I am so grateful to have an arm and a leg to work.”
When should a family consider hospice?
Most families start thinking about hospice when daily life becomes a hindrance. Perhaps some people are unable to bathe or cook for themselves. In some cases, their health is unpredictable. With a good day followed by a scary emergency room visit.
At times, it is clear that more help is needed at home than the family can provide. Physical decline makes it clear that something needs to change.
“It is never too early to have these conversations,” Murray said. “And it’s not just cancer. We help with heart disease chronic obstructive pulmonary disease Dementia, diabetes.”
Unfortunately, access to hospice services varies across Canada. This depends on where you live and the provincial funding level. Most hospice facilities rely on volunteers to offset the costs of caring for those in need.
I’ve had patients tell me that ‘Not dying terrifies me…it’s the dying part.’
There may be some discomfort when a patient enters hospice. Moreover, Many people fear that it will be a painful process.
End-of-life care may include pain management options for the patient. (Image via Getty Images)
“I had a patient tell me that ‘Not dying scared me … it was the dying part,’” Murray recalled.
Many hospice health care providers can help manage pain and discomfort with medications. But there is also the added element of emotional pain.
Death doesn’t look like it does in movies. But hospice teams often have counselors to help patients and families understand the dying process. and help prepare them for what lies ahead. Murray said. Only a small percentage of people are admitted to hospice and their health continues to deteriorate until they die. The rest will experience what she calls a “roller coaster.”
“The family came together to say goodbye. And suddenly that person stood up and said, ‘I’m not going anywhere,’” Murray explains. He added that it can be emotionally exhausting for families.
How to help someone?
People often wonder how they can support families with loved ones in hospice. Death can be an uncomfortable topic. Especially for those who have not experienced a major loss, while asking “What can I do to help?” may be well-intentioned, it does not alleviate any stress or pain. that they may suffer
Instead of asking vague questions Try identifying ways in which you can help. Some examples include:
-
“I will bring dinner on Tuesday.”
-
“Can I go shopping this week?”
-
“I am free to drive my children to school.”
-
“This is what I can do…what will help the most?”
These messages and questions solve the problem without creating more work for your friend or loved one.
Be specific when offering to help a friend who is in hospice. (Image via Getty Images)
What – what not – to say
When you visit someone who is seriously ill Words are more important than you think. Phrases meant to be comforting can make things worse. Can be more complicated Instead of saying something like:
-
“Everything happens for a reason.”
-
“They are in a better place now.”
You can support it by doing things like:
-
Ask what they want to talk about.
Some days I want to talk about my illness. Some days I want to talk about something other than that.
“The most important thing? Follow their lead,” Murray said. “Some days they want to talk about their illness. Some days they want to talk about other things.”
accept support
Hospice care is not about giving up hope. It’s about making the most of your time. With dignity, support and with your family.
It’s about focusing on what matters most when time is precious. It’s about honest conversation. Creating meaningful moments And sometimes you find more laughter and joy than anyone would expect.
The goal is not to hasten death or abandon treatment entirely. It is about living life to the fullest extent possible while facing reality with the right courage and support.
Let us know what you think by Email usLeave a comment below and tweet @YahooStyleCA– Follow us at Twitter and Instagram–